Stilettos, Stoli & Scribbles ~ Served With A Twist

I’ve long been of the opinion that most lives would at least feel a lot more interesting if they could only be narrated.  Wouldn’t it be fantastic to have an omniscient, disembodied, preferably classically trained voice from beyond who could explain you to the rest of the world? I’m apparently not alone in my thinking, as a Facebook meme currently making the rounds would attest.

Morgan Freeman, it turns out, is a smart ass. No matter, his is not the voice I would prefer to hear telling my tale. If I actually could pick one, it would have to be the late great Alan Rickman, one of the all-time best voices ever-freaking-ever, though I’d be happy with the guy who used to do all of those movie trailers. You know the ones that begin “In a world…” yada yada – Don LaFontaine.

That’s a great voice. No matter what I was doing, Mr. LaFontaine could have made it sound impressive. Although, let’s be honest, Homer Simpson is probably more on-point. (“D’oh!”)

I do realize that if everyone had their own narration, the resulting cacophony would drive us all mad. (I’m no Biblical scholar, but didn’t something like that already happen once?)  Maybe a theme song is a better way to go.  Music hath charms and all that. I’ve had people tell me I need my own tv show (okay, one. One person said this. And though I’m hilarious they were being facetious), so of course I’d need a signature tune.

No, that one won’t work. As much as I’d like to imagine myself gliding down the street in slow motion, with just the right amount of wind to make my hair bouncy and shiny while I laugh lightheartedly at everything and nothing, I don’t think I could pull it off, with or without the parasol.  (Note: my hair has never, ever bounced, though I’m certain it would if I really did have my own tv show.)

I’ve had people try to thrust a theme song upon me. For as long as I can remember I’ve had “Sherry” sung at me.

Falsetto is not as easy as you’d think.  To counter the attacks, I’ve taken to suggesting Bruce Springsteen.

Learn this one and I’ll allow you to sing it at me.

Truly, I think everyone needs a theme song they’ve chosen for themselves and that only they can hear. Most of us have already got the buds plugged into our ears or the headphones clapped over them anyway. We need to pipe something into our heads that fits the tone of the day when we’re feeling good and maybe lift our spirits when we aren’t. We need our own “go-to” theme.

I thought about borrowing Alfred Hitchcock’s,

but I think I’m going to appropriate this one instead. It’s catchy, covers a lot of emotional and motivational territory and it’s making a comeback.

What would your theme song be? Do you need a different song for different days of the week or moods?

Enjoy your week. See you back here same bat time, same bat channel.