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And that’s all that I yam…..REALLY???
“I think, therefore I am.” Ok….AND??
We, as human beings have made great strides in understanding and appreciating the necessity of being self-aware. As parents we SHOULD know how important it is to teach our children to embrace their individuality and uniqueness.
My question is….Is being aware enough? I’ve given many a cyber chuckle even a few snorts and beverage spews with the phrase, “I AM a self aware woman.” Usually associated with an inappropriate psycho sexual response to shoes, booze, food and tattoos.
I like to think my confession is more than a punch line. I like to think I am self aware. I can list my pros and cons with, what I consider, rare honesty and insight. (Vanity is among them, along with sloth, greed, pride, loyalty, stubbornness, love, creativity, sense of humor, good hair and teeth and a darn good cook.)
BUT ( nothing matters before the “but”)….is it enough? Is it enough for me to simply OWN my penchant for laziness…not only lazy I said SLOTH – biblical levels of lazy? Is it enough to know in my heart I am a font of creativity? I think the answer is NO. Being self-aware is not enough. We MUST be actively engaged in that awareness.
It’s not enough to acknowledge our failings. We MUST seek to correct. We are human beings. We have that option. The lion will always be a lion. Man can choose to be a jackass or not. We can choose to be short tempered and volatile or deal with our anger in ways that help the situations. I, KRB, can CHOOSE to be lazy OR work on my time management and decide that a clean house, finished book, well kept garden, and well organized charity events are more important than braless pajama days, being the first to comment on the newest angry cat meme, being the funniest in 140 characters or less and the next level of Candy Crush.
Further, it’s not enough to acknowledge our attributes. We owe it to each other to use our gifts. As a woman of faith I believe I OWE it to God to create, to be kind, to show love, to stand by those people He has placed in my life. I was taught and given mothering instincts, I MUST listen and use them to BE a good mother. (Not easy, it means pissing off the cherubs regularly.)
I think the other side of actively engaged self awareness is demanding the same from others. SURE I believe we love people and ourselves “as is”. I don’t think that means we accept or condone every behavior. The best friends/spouse/family are the ones who bring out the best in us…by earning our best and also by expecting our best. We cannot be our best selves by copping out with “I yam what I yam.” And we must not accept that excuse from others.
Do you agree? Is it enough to KNOW ourselves? Should we, in accepting others and ourselves “as is” also expect to rise above our failings or rise to our potential?
~KRB
C C Cedras
K R Brorman
S A Young
7 Comments
February 21, 2013 at 10:47 am
Excellent food for thought. I agree that loving ourselves or each other “warts and all” doesn’t mean that we stop trying to improve and grow or help others to do so.
February 21, 2013 at 10:59 am
And as one of my writing partners I expect you to not politely accept my “I’m lazy” or “I like brevity” or “I type in K-nglish.” as excuses for unacceptable prose. 🙂
February 21, 2013 at 10:59 am
In my opinion, since you asked :-), it is NOT enough to just be aware of our strengths and weaknesses, and, YES, we need to act on them — whether that means exercising our strengths for the good of our family, friends, community, OURSELVES (i.e., not wasting them) or continuing to work on improving in those areas where we believe we fall short.
Kids get a pass up to a point, then they need to own their behaviors and the consequences.
I once had a guy assigned to my team at work who informed us with a smirk on the first day that he was “an asshole — everyone knows it”. Stunned, I mulled that over for about 10 seconds before telling him that he did not get a hall pass to be an asshole just because he’d warned us in advance. Did it help? I think it did a little. He was, occasionally a terrific jackass, but at least he was a good sport about it when we called him out.
Long story, but my point is, don’t be telling me that you’re neurotic, narcissistic or passive-aggressive like I need to accommodate your issues unless you’re demonstrably working on controlling or correcting your own problems. If you’re trying? So will I.
You really stirred me up today, KRB. Apparently.
February 21, 2013 at 12:14 pm
You are so cute when stirred! Thanks for the anecdote….reminds me of a recent incident. But that’s another blog. 😉
February 22, 2013 at 10:44 am
No it is not enough, it is a STEP but not enough. You have to be honest with yourself first but if we don’t continue to grow, to strive for better, to have and accomplish goals, well we then stagnate and wither.
I also, agree with CC COMPLETELY that just because you tell someone you have a fault does not EXCUSE it. I knew someone who was caught in several lies who then told me “I have a problem with lying.” Then when I didn’t like being lied to said, “I told you I lied.” as if I should just accept it. Uh, no, but I did exit the relationship. Unacceptable behavior does not become acceptable because it is acknowledged.
People are fond of the saying “Knowledge is power.” but that is only part of it. Knowledge with no action is useless. APPLIED knowledge is power.
February 22, 2013 at 10:53 am
I could not agree more!