…win the lotto, become a saint, grow six inches (so width matches height), run the Boston Marathon in March, win the Pulitzer AND Nobel prize for literature, cure cancer, world peace. THERE! The perfectly unobtainable and therefore perfectly designed to fail and reaffirm every negative thought I’ve had about myself since discovering my boobs were…
Category: Legacy Musings – KR
Earlier essays and updates from our pre-remodel era—kept here for longtime readers.
Get it together man!
“Yeah, no shit!” ROTFLMAO (typical facebook or twitter reply) Then I started thinking about it. What exactly does having one’s shit together look like? Happy marriage? Financial freedom? Professional success? Physical fitness? Children off the pipe or the pole? Do I actually know anyone who has it together? Have I ever had it together? Sure,…
Breakfast with Georges
Sadly, not a typo….he’s decided he’s French. *eye roll* Monsieur Georges offers zee caf-FAY and zee yo-GURT, for zee pro-TEEN.** ** profound apologies to the French, he insisted on his own brand of phonetics in order for our audience to fully grasp his “French-osity”.
National No Bra Day and Breast Cancer Awareness Month — OR — Please Put That Pink Can of Soup Down & Put Your Bra Back On
National No Bra Day and Breast Cancer Awareness Month — OR — Please Put That Pink Can of Soup Down & Put Your Bra Back On.
The “F” Word!
Fahrvergnügen!!! What were you thinking?? Hehehehe! Actually there are many wonderful “F” words. Family, friends, food, fun, frills, fart (you know you laugh) and lest we forget that mother of all dirty words…..FEAR! (gottcha again). I’ve been contemplating my absence from this blog and writing, the long, long process of remodeling which was supposed to…
Are you a Bilbo Baggins?
Sometime during the fifth watching of The Hobbit since the DVD arrived….Don’t judge me…I stopped imagining myself as a warrior dwarf and marveled at the quiet hero, Bilbo Baggins and wondered which one I truly am? Am I a Bilbo? Do I sit comfortably in my life, then wander aimlessly around my empty house,…
It’s A Mambo Kind of Monday
Who says Mondays have to be boring, avoided, dreaded? Dance like no one is watching. Sing like you know all the words. What makes you get up and dance? Boogie in the driver’s seat? Tap your foot on the bus? Walk to the beat in your head?
“Drive It Like You Stole It”
This was the advice from the aforementioned Youngest Fruit aka Coach Ratchet. Just the two of us in the car yesterday, I wondered aloud if I should find a different evening dress for an annual charitable event. (The new dress for 2013 arrived WAY TOO BIG and I have to decide to alter, or sell…
…The Hell did you just say???
I suppose it’s a testament to my eternal hope for humanity that I’m still left gobsmacked at the things people say and type for all the world see. There I was perusing an innocent facebook Q&A of Devil Wear…excuse me Spanx, and the words “pee hole” LEAP from my screen, pierce my eyeballs and burrow…
1 2 3 There’s a fish in the tree.
Look at me. Look at me. Said the fishy swimming free. Look at me. Look at me. Said the kitty in the tree. You have fur. You can climb! Said the fishy with a sigh. You have fins and rainbow scales. Said the kitty with a…. Yeah I got nothing. And thus ends today’s lesson….